A moomoo that hides both your body and your bad mood

If you see me in a moomoo, I am either thriving or two minutes away from snapping. Either way, I am comfortable. It is the ultimate soft armor. Loose. Floaty. Disrespectfully cozy. You cannot touch me. Literally or emotionally.

Iced coffee that tastes like clarity and poor judgment

It is cold. It is caffeinated. It is the only thing keeping me from rage texting people I barely tolerate. Iced coffee feels like control in a world that refuses to cooperate.

A completely silent room with no expectations attached to it

No one needs anything. No one is talking. The TV is off. Your phone is in the other room. This is not loneliness. This is luxury.

That one cat who decides you are worthy today

When a cat chooses you, it feels like the universe acknowledging your efforts. Especially if it curls up nearby and does not knead your organs with its demon paws. That is connection on your terms.

Ignoring everything and coloring like it is your new religion

Coloring is not just relaxing. It is an active decision to mentally check out while doing something mildly productive looking. Bonus points if the page is mildly unhinged or includes a frog in a cardigan.

Saying no and not even flinching

You did not hesitate. You did not over explain. You said no and moved on with your life. That is hug energy with boundaries and just the right amount of petty power.

Building and decorating houses in The Sims while your real life remains untouched

Why clean your actual kitchen when you can design a fictional one with tile that costs fake money and no consequences. Bonus points if the Sim family never moves in and the house just sits there looking gorgeous while your brain resets.

Early bed with no plans and no alarm

You did not fall asleep watching something. You deliberately put yourself to bed. No bra. No noise. No responsibility. Just the choice to disappear until further notice.

Sorting something for no reason

You are not organizing. You are calming your inner chaos. It is not a project. It is a ritual. And it keeps your hands busy while your brain screams into a void.

Not being invited to anything

This is the greatest gift of all. When plans are made and you are not included. When people forget to loop you in. When no one expects you to leave your house. That is the good stuff. That is peace.

Five Things That Absolutely Do Not

Group chats

No one wants twelve messages about potato salad and who is bringing the folding chairs. This is not community. This is digital torture.

Surprise calls

If you FaceTime me unannounced, I will assume you are either dying or confused about our relationship. Either way, I am not answering.

Summer

Hot air. Blinding sun. Sweat in places no one talks about. Summer is not a vibe. It is a personal attack.

Clothes that require effort

If I have to fasten, zip, squeeze, or adjust anything, it is not comfort. It is punishment disguised as fashion. If I cannot nap in it without having to unbutton something, it is a no.

Anything telling me to live laugh or love

No. I want to rest, recharge, and ignore your texts. If your wall art is yelling at me, it better be about snacks or revenge.

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A warm hug does not have to involve warmth. It does not have to involve people. It can look like silence, caffeine, soft clothes, and absolutely no notifications.

If that makes me antisocial, dramatic, or overly specific—good.

That means it is working.