Step One

Wake up naturally
No alarm. No birds chirping. No sunlight creeping through the curtains. I want blackout conditions. I want to wake up when my body decides it is time and not a moment before.

Step Two

Scroll in silence with caffeine in hand
I want iced coffee before I speak to another human. I want to check my phone without being productive. I want to sip, scroll, and pretend time is not real. This is not screen addiction. This is soft rebellion.

Step Three

Put on the sacred moomoo
Do not underestimate the power of the moomoo. It says I will not be going anywhere today. It says I have rejected waistbands. It says do not ask me to leave the house or make plans. I am choosing comfort over chaos and cotton over capitalism.

Step Four

Romanticize absolutely nothing
I am not doing yoga. I am not making a smoothie. I am not reorganizing a shelf. I am letting my life be a little bit messy and a whole lot mine. I do not need aesthetics. I need silence and something mildly funny in the background.

Step Five

Build a house in The Sims for a family I will never play
This is my real therapy. I am not escaping. I am designing a fake life where I control everything and no one asks me what is for dinner. No bugs. No heat. Just tile placement and custom wallpaper decisions that actually matter.

Step Six

Color something ridiculous
Swear word coloring book? Possum in a sunhat? Emotional support raccoon? Perfect. I want to color something that reflects my soul and my current level of unbothered chaos. Bonus points if the cat joins and sits on the page I am working on.

Step Seven

Have snacks
Not meals. Not a three course spread. Just whatever I can grab with one hand and eat without making a dish dirty. Cheese. Crackers. Something salty. Maybe some grapes for aesthetics. This is not about nutrition. This is about survival.

Step Eight

Ignore all communication
The phone is on do not disturb. Group chats are muted. I am not answering any texts that include the phrase are you free. I am busy. I am inside. I am pretending I do not exist.

Step Nine

Optional nap
If I feel like it. Not because I am tired. Because I can. No pressure. No productivity. Just choosing horizontal as my preferred orientation for the afternoon.

Step Ten

Stay in for the evening
No bonfires. No patios. No social events that require mascara. I want my lights dim, my house quiet, and something mindless on TV. I might build another Sims house. I might reorganize my colored pencils. Either way, I will not be making small talk.

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That is it. That is the dream. No beach. No hiking. No sweaty outdoor obligations. Just iced coffee, coloring, mild denial, and a moomoo that has seen things.

You do not have to chase the summer glow if you are already radiating peace from the couch.

Stay weird. Stay cool. Stay inside.