I Want to Wear Layers but I Will Die

I see my cardigans. I gaze longingly at my flannel. I want to wear socks that go up to my knees and wrap myself in scarves like I am hiding from the paparazzi. But no. My internal temperature says no. My armpits say absolutely not. My forehead is already glistening and I have not even moved.

The Candle to Air Conditioning Pipeline

Lighting a fall candle in ninety degree weather feels like a lie but I am doing it anyway. The house smells like cinnamon. My AC is set to 67. I am holding a mug like a movie heroine even though I am drinking iced coffee with crushed ice and silent rage.

People Keep Posting Fall Vibes and I Am Bitter About It

I see your apple picking posts. Your boots. Your cute fall hats. Meanwhile I am still getting mosquito bites and screaming internally every time someone invites me to something that takes place outside. I am not okay. I want crunchy leaves, not crunchy underboob.

My Decor Says Spooky. My Skin Says Sweaty.

I already put out the pumpkins. The bats are stuck to the wall. There is a moody black cat statue by my front door. Inside, it is cute. Inside, it is fall. Outside, it is summer’s final tantrum and I am trying to survive it in moomoos and iced beverages.

I Am Not Buying More Summer Clothes

Do not even try me. If I see one more rack of sleeveless things I am going to flip. I am in my fall shopping era. Mentally I am buying knit sets and cozy socks and Halloween accessories. I will not be emotionally manipulated by summer clearance tags.

I Have Already Transitioned Into My Cozy Core Self

The lighting is dim. The snacks are out. The mood is somewhere between witch in the woods and tired librarian. I am watching spooky stuff and reorganizing my art supplies like I have it together. I do not. But it feels right.

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So yes, it is still hot. I am still sweating. The sun is still aggressive and I am still one heatwave away from losing it completely.

But emotionally, I am in October.

I am crunching fake leaves in my heart. I am sipping cold brew with ghost shaped ice cubes. I am decorating my Sims house like a Victorian witch who sells cursed baked goods. I will not be dragged back into summer energy.

We are done here.